Writing True

A Blogger’s Fate

Pull a chair,

Come closer,

Meet the eyes without a blink,

Clasp hands between palms,

Speak without a slur, an aah or umm–

Obsolete sincerity gauge,

So overrated!

What comes with About,

Is the voice, and courage.

 

Hate not

Because things are virtual.

Hate not

The bloggers

For being unseen and unusual.

Hate not

For the differences,

Indifferences,

And creating a difference.

Hate not

For posts yet to publish

Or put in private–

Hate not

Any exercise of entitlement.

Hate not at all.

Hate is hate

Anywhere you go.

Hate is cursed–

Always hurt–

At least two

Or more–

More forevermore.

 

Limit not

the vision

to what nickel-sized eyes show;

they can’t show the world–

neither all you need to know.

Limit not

one of warmth

from palms so worn.

Limit not

The hearts

To great things

That can be done

To live and evolve.

Limit not

The prayers and hopes

Of good thoughts.

 

 

Limit not the bloggers

for their greatest posts

yet to fold.

Limit not the bloggers

of any definition

of meaningful posts.

Limit not the bloggers

to post at all.

 

 

 

Hemingway missed

this World–

In bits and bytes–

Is the finest of them all!

Wand-like fingers

have defied space and time.

Godly brains

have known the unknown.

Cultures

have blended.

Ways of living

Have McGyvered and Einsteined.

Passions expressed in posts

are healing the world.

A blogger’s fate?

You never know.

Writing True

How I Strive To Be Happy

My closest encounter with depression, was seeing a friend suffer– and I can’t be of help. I tried. It was heartbreaking! Of course, I wished to alleviate my friend’s predicament. Sadly, as a pal, I can only do so much. At some point, I had to let go and turn to prayers.

Regardless of devastation, up to now, I still don’t understand, why amid the availability of resources and advancement of medicine, why many are still suffering from loneliness? Is it true that most antidepressants are even worsening the patients’ conditions? I even know an incident of suicide. To think it’s so curable; but dealing with sadness requires a great deal of mindset. 

Another concern, is how the society labels those who are sick of depression (of any kind). For the harsh reality is, there’s a stigma that comes with calling or identifying those people with their diagnosis; which I think, it is as bad as the disease(s) they’re enduring. 

Personally, being native of a third-world country  and as a mom, I can’t afford loneliness. That for me, to be lonely is a privilege. That having a family to raise; a dream to fulfill, my responsibilities can’t spare me a second to despair. That with all honesty, the most expensive thing for me to wear, is a sad face. It could be a challenge for someone like me who is a world away from the people I love the most. However, God is good, and in His grace; I am okay. 

But to keep my mind in shape and my spirit high, it takes hardwork and faith. Thus, below are my 8 ways to stay up and alive. 
1. I keep myself busy. Sloth is one of the 7 Deadly Sins. Inevitably, an idle mind and a lazy body are too vulnerable to evil. Therefore, if work, or school, or both, are not enough to keep me occupied, I get into a hobby (for example, lately, I’m into digital arts of painting and pottery–art is always a beautiful thing). Volunteering, blogging, reading biographies and poetry, cooking and swimming are but few of my passions.


2. I exercise everyday. And I exercise harder on days when things don’t go well as planned or awry; when I miss home; when I earn a B (I’d bury myself alive when I get a C–just kidding) at school; or when longing, or when sad thoughts are looming. Hence, I believe: A fit body is the key to a stronger mind. 

3. “Thank you for the music!” And “Who can live without it;” for I cannot (I’m sure everyone knows). That no matter what time of the day, and the mood I am into, there’s a song for it. For example, my cardio playlist keeps me going better than caffeine. With it (I only have one, but it’s made of 18 tracks), I can finish my workout on time without behaving like a frantic ant or roach. And comes bedtime, I turn to classical music or lullabies to self-produce melatonin as my day peacefully retires (good sleep matters too that’s why 😴).

4. I meditate. I learned that pure breathing exercises–which are “not subject to any religion” or faith dogma–lead to calmer, more focused mind and a healthier wellbeing. And apparently, meditation complements all fitness goals. Even scientific studies have proven, exercise with meditation guarantees weight loss.

5. I write. Being human, I get upset too. However, with maturity, I know, I need to contain such negativity to the confines of privacy. With that, I keep a notebook. But during a direct encounter, I’d pause if I have to; if it’s a person, I stay away (far, far away). It is such a waste of time. Also, frustration and anger deprive us of clearer minds; They impair our judgments; They lead to more desolate feelings–so consuming of time and energy! 

But oops, I dare not to forget: Writing is healing. That reading the truth, and confronting it with our very eyes and minds, is not only liberating–but it’s empowering! 

​6. I turn to love with all its energies and synergies. Because, “Love never fails,” isn’t that’s the old adage? It’s healing. It’s magic. It’s heavenly. That it’s with whom and how we share our humble lives, which make them truly worthwhile. But, if we are sharing beds with pillows and dust mites, don’t worry (beef curry)! Hope–the ever invaluable one–and as expressed through optimism and prayers–is way better than any alternatives.

7. I eat ice cream. Be rocky road, coffee or java, mango or ube (Filipino flavors), in sugar cone or cup, with sprinkles, mallows, nuts or fruits, and fudge, I turn to ice cream for quick dose of joy. I eat it without guilt; but, in quantity my stomach can manage. Now, with you, I don’t know what food drives the monsters in you. But please, dare indulge to pull joy if you have to.

8. I walk. Or, I run three-miles. They are not only forms of exercises; but they are proven therapies to anxious, sad, or weary minds.

So there go my ways to stay happy, I hope they come handy. In doing them though, I try to smile. And I convince myself, it’s genuine all the time. Note there are many ways to trick the mind. One is nourishment. Although, there is nourishment of the body, nourishment of the spirit, nourishment of the heart; but they are all substantial to nourishment of the mind. 

Finally, there is science to (and in) everything. Sadness shouldn’t be our recourse in life; worse, it cannot be our “only thing” to the many things we have to thing. To end, I beg to reiterate my bare minimum: 1. The courage to be happy; and 2. The audacity to be at peace. 

Bottom line, no face too ugly to deserve a frown. Smile is such a pretty crown.

God bless everybody! Happy blogging, Happy Halloween, aloooha everyone! 😘😘😘

Writing True

Reality

Theirs,

Yours,

Mines:

Perfect tapestries 

Of woven imperfections . . .

Colorful.

Vibrant hues

Of scattered pictures 

Bring dull diamonds 

In the corners 

Of eyes.

Dreams

Carry tissues,

Tickling cheeks 

To smile.

Poetry

Up, Up and Away










Whilst the weak heart yearns,

the brave soul dares.

And hope beams,

as whirlwind magic begins.


Whilst surprises of a brand new day are awaiting,

aurora is peeping.

And fragments of stormy nights rush to fade,

as the sun gracefully appears humbling itself to faith.


Whilst gray clouds move,

the blue firmament alights;

Paving way for the mightiest eagle to fly

high above the pinky sky.


Hope is love in disguised.








Recommended Song:

Got To Believe in Magic
by David Pomeranz

Writing True

Pursuing Happiness

. . . is getting up in the morning

from a dreaded night so tiring

approaching the fridge while yawning

picking three strips of bacon instead of four you’re thinking

Benedict is your new thing.


Nailing peace

is ending a same ol’, same ol’ day,

shrugging a body so worn by work

thinking, affirming

“I’m a day richer tomorrow.”

Writing True

When Good Lives Are Lost

As our nation grieves for the beautiful lives we lost in Las Vegas . . .

 

We mourn and pay silence.

And in silence, 

We pray their families may find solace in loving memories.

We light candles for their questions that can never be answered; 

We offer flowers for the justice yet to serve.

We keep our heads vowed and hands clasped in the middle

For our most solemn plea to heal our hearts and find peace in forgiveness.

We surrender to tears; but we combat our fears 

Embracing ourselves tight–

Reaffirming life is good even in our darkest moments;

For this, brings us together.

And together,

We let the currents of our sacred tears

Bring us to the doors of heaven

Where confetti, symphony, pretty familiar faces, smiles we missed, and good cheers are present

For more good lives, which made it to heaven,

now eternally in heaven.




Memoirs · Writing True

Am I Happy?

If I see Mr. Donald Trump with uncombed hair, and cucumbers on his eyes–I’d go nuts. If I watch a movie of Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, especially the 50 First Dates and those that co-stars Rob Schneider (a Filipino-American)--I’d go bananas. If I hear Mama “butcher” a Hawaiian word with her Filipino accent–I’d pause and laugh, then slap and slap my forehead in teary eyes. Because she’s here, in Hawaii more than half of her life (she’s 69); and still, Ma can’t get her Hawaiian skills right or conversational at least. For example, our royal Highness’ name, our King Kamehameha’s (a.k.a. King Kamehameha the Great, 1782-1819), which is pronounced Kame-ha-meha, to her it’s Ka-meme-ha. Also, for Princess Victoria Kaiulani (the last heir, which is pronounced as Kai-la-ni); to her it’s Ka-i-ulani. And with Kaneohe (a district here in Oahu), which is pronounced Ka-ne-o-he; to her, it’s Kanyeo-he. She drives me nuts. Because, if it’s a crime or tort in our state to mispronounce and disrespect (intentional or not) Hawaiian words and or names of the royal family perhaps Mama could have spent that half of her life in jail. She could have been deprived of aloha and sentenced to life imprisonment (no death penalty in Hawaii). Maybe there’d be possibility of parole, only if Ma’s Hawaiian gets decent, or she straightens her pronunciation of King Kamehameha’s name at least. Thus, with these tickles, I’ll laugh without a doubt. But is it happiness? Am I happy? Let’s see.


 
Smiles and laughters are not bond certificates of happiness. Reality is; There are Tupperware smiles and Ziplock laughters concealing sadness and emptiness–for “life ain’t easy.” And to carry on is always a challenge. 

So, am I happy?

At one point, I think it’s a myth that it’s easier to tackle loneliness than consume myself pathetically in finding it. Perhaps I struggle to achieve it that I confront this “woman in the mirror” accused of being unhappy. 

The “bare minimum” for me: One, the courage to be happy; Two, the audacity to be at peace. But if we are to humanize this two: Truth is, they don’t get along with each other. They’re like oil and water. Eternally in mean rivalry, their defining question is not “Who let the dogs out.” Rather, who is the greatest? But if Ali is alive, they’d be in the ring with him for the title. Truer than truth though, they are equally important. Missing one of them could be detrimental to our health and wellbeing. Also, there is no such a thing as greatest except the Almighty One. Moreover, isn’t it, when happy, most likely, we’re at peace? And when we’re at peace, chances are, we’re happy? Then again, am I unhappy?

My teachers are the beacons of my hope: Through their exemplary dedication and unparalleled expertise, I am a better person.

In the gym, where I go late nights: I walk one hour in treadmill, another hour in open strides, ten minutes in stair stepper, I carry weights, stretch and crunch every ten minutes. I try to end the night in the pool tackling 8 to 6 lapses at least. I love swimming. And I can last and finish my goals by merely listening to my playlists or audiobooks in my iPhone (and no caffeine needed). Although I seemed loitering the place, I’m a good customer of 24-Hour Fitness since June of this year (according to my Statement of Account). Prior, and beginning February (when I got my rose gold Apple Watch Series 1 as a gift) to June, I tan and walked along the beaches of Ala Moana and Waikiki. I work harder when I feel low (sadness, despair, pessimism–I don’t underestimate the evils of fatigue). And so I meditate. I breathe deep. But most of the time, I push myself to exceed my goals, so at home I can enjoy my bed with no remorse. Then I listen to Tomorrow in its most mellow tone. 

In my professional career as an accounting and legal professional, I am hoping to get my CPA by May of 2018. I also hope to finish law school when I reach 50 (same age that my late father earned his Master in Law). I don’t want Harvard. I dream of Yale; but I wouldn’t mind to spend three or four more years of my life at Richardson’s School of Law (because my wallet told me so). But with all humility, and in my most fervent hope, I want my Juris Doctor more than anything in this world. I will not die without it. That if I have to crawl to school, I will. That in hell or high waters, I’ll be a lawyer even if takes McPick 2 for the rest of my life. I want JD so badly, because it’s a family thing. Also, as a volunteer at Legal Aid Society of Hawaii (since 2008), I’ve been stuck in helping clients in their tax or legal distresses, because my paralegal certificate (issued by the Hawaii State Bar Association) only allows me to work with attorneys. Sadly, most of the time, they refuse to work for free (pro bono) as it really cost a fortune to pursue degrees in United States. However, I am a strong believer of equal access to justice. That I pity my clients (mostly elders, people with disabilities, single parents, homeless, immigrants, and temporary workers from different countries, or the needies) who suffered injustice, because they were deprived by poor representations. I’m not at peace with that thought: That because they’re poor, so they deserve poor. Oh, poor!

This is why, in school, I labored for good grades (like a slave in Renaissance age). I’m not a genius; and being in my forties, I have physical challenges too. Also, to do well in school these days, it meant money. For a business degree, especially mines, accounting, from computer hardwares to softwares, to subscriptions and journals,  I was just fortunate to afford McDonalds. I endured “hells” for the “heavens” of A. I worked so hard on all of my subjects (there was no easy one), ever forcing me to turn nights into days, leaving me only dawn for at least a yawn in pursuit of my undergraduate degrees of two associate, and a BA (Bachelor of Arts). It led to a scholarship from the American Businesswomen Association (Hawaii chapter). It gave me the privilege to sit with the Board of Directors in Fellowship Nights sponsored by University of Hawaii (UH). We discussed and agreed that we need the Honolulu Rail Transit. I used this topic in all of my semester concluding essays for my English courses. I was able to discuss it passionately knowing my fellow Filipinos lived in the west side of Oahu, where the rail would run. It made me happy to argue for them.

At home, I barely stay because my kids are on their own. Most of the time, I’m either in school or at work; but definitely, I’m in the gym everyday.

Hence, the paradox of happiness is every time we think of it, we question and falsely convict ourselves. But if we just look back on how far we come through in life, a sense of self, and peace are always within reach. For happiness is not a question, nor a pursuit, neither a tease–it’s an affirmation to keep. I am happy.

Finally, it’s very disappointing to be hurt by someone you wish who’d love you unconditionally. It could be debilitating; if we endure it as is. But we are blessed with beautiful minds and resilient spirits, that with our hands and feet, knowledge and skills: we can be at peace. Therefore, my challenges do not make me unhappy nor sick. They can’t be stronger than the faith and hope I have within. Besides, I know how to walk away and accept fate, if things are not meant for me. I am brave. 

Writing True

Hawaii and Leis

Hi guys! I thought, it’d be nice to share this very short video of lei making. Leis as probably most of you know, are worn type of wreath and is very much a part of Aloha tradition.

I remember, a fellow blogger asked me one day, “Why are you so proud of Hawaii? As if it’s so special.” I did not answer her. Because I believe, I don’t have to explain for any of my outright entitlement. But, she’s right, I am very proud of Hawaii, as I’m thankful to this state being a resident U.S. immigrant. Indeed, Hawaii is so special too geologically (home to many live volcanoes) geographically (still in the Northern Hemisphere, and at the heart of the Pacific) and culturally speaking. One cultural of nature, is lei. On a lighter note, we, kama’ainas (locals) are comfortable in our slippers wherever we go and whatever we do for living. 

Another thing, there’s a profound diversity of culture here; for this is home-away-from-home to many Filipinos (like myself), Koreans, Chinese (like my half-self), Japanese, Vietnamese, Laotians, Latinos, Samoans, Micronesians–name them all; we have them all. Sometimes, when I take TheBus (our state-run buses are almost all hybrid now and environmentally friendly), I’d hear in one corner people are speaking Tagalog, and then in the other side Nihonggo, then Cantonese–but they all speak Pidgin English (Creole) simultaneously. For a writer, language is music to my ears. 

Nonetheless, we, kama’ainas of these Hawaiian islands give leis not just to tourists, but to our loved ones, to our leaders and many more. It speaks of aloha, our love, our gratitude, our well wishes and prayers, our regards and respect. It’s our way of appreciation for touching lives. Handcrafted by mostly of our kupunas (elders), lei making is a very tedious and so laborious. But it’s an integral part of our culture and philosophy, so we endure such labor of love, not to prove we’re good people. Rather, simply, it brings us joy and keep our traditions going. Anything related to culture, there is no right nor wrong; but it can’t be judge by anyone outside that culture. Moreover, such traditions lead to values and virtues, which are meant to pass from generations to generations. It tightens our ties with our ohanas (families), our friends, and the community, while keeping our culture alive.

Personally, whenever I receive a lei, I feel there’s something ill (or broken) in (or with) me that gets healed, knowing I’m wearing something someone has painstakingly made. And it’s so literally close to my heart. It’s a powerful feeling too strong to put into words.

Note that there are still goodness in this world that deserves immunity from scrutiny. Thank you for all your support. And my warmest aloha to you all!