Face the Greatest Worst


(Inspired by Amras888 – something to live by)

We are born

to live

In love

In hope

In faith

In humility

Not fear

Nor hate

Neither retreat

In doing

The right things.

Fear is our only enemy.

We can stand

While in tears

We can speak

Through our minds

Stronger than

With our lips.

We are wiser

Than our worries think.

No mirror

Can ever show

The beauty

Of not living

In fear.


Depression versus Hope in Me


If you have been blogging with me since mid 2000, probably you’d wonder, how on earth did I get this condition? Being verbally tortured at work by ruthless skeptics, while being challenged domestically, battered financially (as I opted to be in American school)–there are countless of factors, which have brought me into this mental state. But, the fault isn’t with the factors–as I take full responsibility for who I am; no matter how flawed or ruined I am.

Because, folks, I denied that I was going through depression perhaps for long. I could have gotten help and establish a support system to beat it. But because, I was in denial–it worsened.

Regardless of all the mess, my only regret, is my failure to inspire you, my amazing readers, who have been so generous lending me your ears. Forgive me.

The good news is, I am a new person. I accepted my flaws and is determined to overcome all the adversaries in front of me. I am even willing to participate to clinical studies to achieve something good out of this. Because, I am never after any crown nor victory neither applause. Just to stand and to live meaningfully; to courageously live with hope and faith–this is more than enough for me. Arnel and my kids are my glories.

I still thank God for this wonderful life He has given me.

May the Almighty bless all of you and your families!

We Hope


Our bodies face north:

They speak purpose.

Our eyes look ahead:

They see something not around.

Our hearts and lungs work hand-in-hand:

They collaborate for our greatest sustenance.

Our feet are grounded:

They bring us to places, stand and balance.

Our heads are above all else:

They set tone to tell our tales.

We then dare to be alone;

If past is the only choice for companion.

We then move forward–because faith say,

We’re covered.

We then pause.

We then rest.

We then hope;

And hope,

And hope, . . .

And strive,

And strive, . . .

And we thrive!

Featured Song
Rainbow Connection

By Debbie Harry & Kermit

Source: YouTube

Sepias of Two


In a photo album named happy truth,
sepias of two
are carved up the sky so blue.

Candid shots of tenderness
are subduing down the ocean
from aurora ’til noon.

Blazing scenes of yesterday
are blending with the red horizon
from sunset ’til the day is through

The sky keeps my greatest treasures,
these wonderful moments
I spend with you.

Finding My Way Back


On December 2017, my life has changed. From being sick of an illness (depression) that I used to discount, to fearing loud sounds or noises, and being uncomfortable in the crowd—I’m just not the same anymore. And as I stumble and keep losing opportunities while my dreams are slipping away, in many instances, I don’t even know where I am heading. Often, I feel being robbed of my happiness and hope. Worse, I lost track of my guiding principles. So here I am, trying to “find my way back into life.”

On life
(In general):

I believe, life is a battle in which we, the soldiers ought to carry and gear ourselves with deep “patriotism,” unabated courage, strong ideals, sound attitude and behavior, by being wise, and maximizing our knowledge and skills.

On relationships:

It’s always a two-way traffic. Mishaps happen in one-way “roads—” as it is detrimental to any relationship to be blinded of anything incoming and outgoing from both sides of the “roads.”

Also, like a boat, if the relationship is a one-man sail—–when in reality, there are two people aboard——then from gravity, to forces of wave and wind—which can relentlessly put relationships in jeopardy, there’d guaranteed falterings along the way.

Most importantly, love is more than a virtue. It’s an act and an undertaking that thrives through trust and respect.

On dreams:

To dream is to hope;
To hope is to aspire;
To aspire is to pursue.

To aspire for oneself is a responsibility; But to dream for larger whole is a calling that requires faith, devotion, and righteousness.

Lastly, passion is a winning action.

Finally, these are just few of my principles and convictions. But going through the traumas of bullying and depression, I am struggling to stand for my dreams and to get my strength back and continue my crusade for a better world.

Nonetheless, It’s tough and hurting to be in a very challenging situation—and the odds are not in my favor. However, I pray for strength and humility—as I humble to things greater than me and/or what my heart can hold.

Below are some of my aspirations, I still keep my fingers crossed:

1. To finish my undergraduate. And right after graduation, I wish to come home in Philippines, to teach single mothers (young and old) of basic computer and typing skills. Speaking of experience, in a third-world country, women out of our wills to survive, we exposed ourselves to vulnerabilities such as illicit affairs.

For when our stomachs are in anguished, our sense of morality is less prioritized. I wish to correct that. And so I will strive harder than hardest to get better and be fully self-supporting. I wish to encourage others the same; and to strive in improving their personal economic conditions.

2. To get to law school and be a tax attorney. Being a VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) volunteer since 2009, I saw the need in that area of law. For example, elders get taxed for required contributions, when most of them roll over the funds to their retirement accounts. Therefore, those contributions shouldn’t be taxed.

Bottom line, I wish to prepare taxes for the elderly and the needy in 50 states using RV as office on mobile.

3. To travel to climate change-stricken countries for outreach such as Vanuatu.

4. To bring Spam Musubi (spam sushi, an all time Hawaiian locals favorite) to children of Africa.

Above all, I want to be with my children. I couldn’t come home yet due to lack of logistics. And although, I am constrained of very limited resources, I remain hopeful to see them before June. I need to be with them and my mom; and I badly miss my sisters too.

To end, this blog is created not to flaunt any talent (I have none to be proud of). I never see myself greater than anyone. It’s just that I have kept this for years, for this help me cherish my passion (to scribble) likewise to continue learning from my blogger friends the virtue of goodwill; and how to vest our time and energies in healthy ventures (such as blogging).

As always, thank you! Namaste to y’all.

Featured Song:

Way Back Into Love
By Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant

Disclaimer: The copyright of media below does not belong to the owner of this blog. It is subject to fair use. Usage is non commercial, not for profit-mere personal. (Courtesy of YouTube)