Not By Choice

0

Hotel Street, Honolulu, Hawaii—November 15, 2019

The sky is the roof over their heads.

Their beds are right by the doorsteps.

Their walls fall in a matter of stomp or step.

They’re into intermittent fasting–

On a diet–

Not by choice.

“No one cares–“

So they thought.

The New Kind

October 20, 2019








A candle,

enkindling another candle,

and another candle


Alight day and night,

flickering in simplicity and humility,

always bright even

when gray pervades the blue sky


An art–a masterpiece–

of inner peace,

of joy,

of hat—

ever thankful for all of that


Painted on a canvass in umber,

in tan and tanner,

in beige and beiger,

in russet and pink,

where the brightest

are glistening


As day and night crescents

beam

in soft,

supple,

rosy pairs

glowing from the goodness

permeating inside


Where nice

and happy thoughts

in purple reside,

in the household

of hope and faith

where thankfulness

is

the new kind.








Original version:

Canvass of Day and Night Crescent


Recommended Song:

The Blessings of My Day
Robert Mosci





To Be Thankful Means

2

A repost

 
To be anxious of nothing;
Be peaceful with everything.

To be angry of no one;
Be happy with loved ones.

To be pessimistic of none;
Be optimistic with what’s done.

To be ungrateful of no way;
Be appreciative all the way.

To be thankless of not a single day;
Be thankful everyday.

Because being thankful,
Is seeing the sun even before dawn.

That ever ardent debonair;
a mister that sneaks not in window pane;

But in our head,
Romancing our thoughts,

Luring our brains,
Lingering in our minds,

As happiness teases
with a hopeful heart day and night–

Always in great company with
Tomorrow and today;

Married to sky
Not in dismay.

Rainbow speaks of hope
Come what may.

Bakit Nga Ba?

0

10/12/2019





Ang mga bulaklak,

mga puno’t halaman

ay hubad;

bilad sa araw,

babad sa ulan.


Ang mga ibon,

pawang nakikisilong

sa lupa umaasang

may masarap na

nahulog.


Ang mga paruparo

kung sino-sino

ang kalaguyo;

hindi makatagal ng

walang kasuyo.


Anong dapat ikahiya-

kung pare-pareho lamang tayo

alipin ng panahon,

mga payaso

ng isang-libo’t isa nating alalahanin

karamihan nama’y

sa guni-guni lamang nangyari.


Wala akong dapat ikahiya.

Pango man ang ilong ko,

Ilong pa rin ito:

Wala kasing sarap

ang simoy ng tuyo,

sa hamon na ito ng tag-ulan

kuntento ako.






Matatapos din

ang lahat;

Lilipas din ito.

YouTube/Bakit Ako Mahihiya/Regine Velasquez

Where it’s Been

4

 
 
 
 

All along,

in the innermost of my being,

where the ballad of you

is playing softly–

Love is never a stranger

nor a history.

 
 
 
 

Related

Where is It

https://ainabalagtas.com/2017/11/08/where-is-it/

Where, Where. . .

https://ainabalagtas.com/2015/01/01/where-where-where-is-it/
 

YouTube/Lea Salonga/Oliver!/Where Is Love?

YouTube/William Haviland/Where is Love

Nature’s Moral Sentiment VIII








If only all

can get a hug

each day or so;

perhaps there won’t

be a single lost soul.


See the new borns

grow so fast.

At infancy,

they know

their mothers’ warmth.


. . . for there is divinity

in the envelope

of human arms.

When given,

it brings a sense of fulfillment;


When received,

. . . a sense of belonging;

When sought,

someone’s spirit is on the ground.

Either way, it can be done.


When deprived:

“Am I loved?”

“Do I belong?”

“What’s wrong?”

Perhaps “so long.”


The hefty price

of incarceration,

is the torment

of

its deprivation.


To hug

or

not to hug,

is not

even a contemplation. . .


. . . for it is easier

to put out

his fist for a fight,

or her mouth

into action.


But to give hug a try

when a thing

between two

goes awry–

is not even a notion.








God Works in Many Wonders

3

After almost two-years of debilitating battle with post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, I’m back to school at the University of Hawaii West Oahu for full time enrollment–I thank God for His blessings. Because amid health and mental challenges, I still dream to be a Certified Public Accountant and a tax attorney. It means so much to me; Because I know that by helping people file and understand taxes, I am giving back to the community and glory to the Almighty.

But there was a point, when I thought my dream wasn’t happening anymore. Blame it on PTSD and depression, which changed me a hundred-eighty-degrees that I never imagine would ever happened to me.


In old days, I don’t give up easily. In fact, during the lowest point of unemployment, I volunteered to various non-profit organizations. From writing in the quarterly magazine of the Hawaii Paralegal Association (2007 to 2011), to providing legal assistance and administrative support to the Hawaii State Bar Association/Young Lawyers Division (2007 to 2011 in many occasions), to participating in Citizenship Fair of Na Loio and HSBA (2008), to the Bench Warrant Recall program of the Volunteer Legal Services of Hawaii (2009), to the Fair Housing program/Volunteer Income Tax Assistance and Tax Counseling for the Elderly/Low Income Tax Clinic of the Legal Aid Society of Hawaii (2008 to 2017), and the VITA of joint Hawaii Alliance of Community Based Economic and the University of Hawaii (2015-2017, and 2019)—I have given myself to the community. In return, I found a purpose. I saved my sanity. I preserved my self-worth. I enriched my soul. Sadly, that optimism was challenged by what I thought was a promising employment.

Amid the punitive damages I endured, I had no thought of getting back at anyone or filing a suit. Though my civil rights were violated; Though I was demeaned and treated unfairly; I saw the humanity in my offenders’ eyes. That they have flaws just like me. Also, I saved the court’s valuable time. Hence, I chose to embraced the pain and entrust everything to God. I prayed for everyone’s healing. And from there, I focused and worked on recovery. I made sure that I get back to my normal life the soonest time possible.


However, to make it clear, I have been doing pro bono; because, I simply saw the community’s need and grabbed the opportunity to do something larger than me.

My good karma: UH West Oahu corresponded to me sometime in May. Through a special cohort, the institution asked what do I need to finish my degree. Through an advisor, the institution offered me a scholarship all the way to my graduation next fall. My only part in the process, was to reapply for admission and financial aid, and to comply with the health requirements of the institution.

Consequently, in this Fall 2019 semester, I am enrolled to five subjects. Out of five, only four need to be paid. Three are paid through financial aid and student loan. And one would probably be outstanding. I plan to work in campus to settle any balance, to get my books and course materials.


Knowing nothing is easy, to be honest, I worry a little. My savings are running too low; and my cash is not enough to last till mid December. But I still would not ask any of my inner circle a favor. My studies are very personal endeavors. That If I am awarded of any scholarships and/or grants, I must earn my eligibility through academic standing. Still, my anxiety is growing.

But on Tuesday night, I watched America’s Got Talent. I witnessed Golden Buzzer Kodi Lee (a blind with autism) sang Paul Simon’s Bridge Over Troubled Waters. And the next thing I knew, my cheeks were wet. I cried, because there was no explanation for Kodi’s talents except for a breakthrough that only God can do.

He truly works in many, many wonders. Because, I am having a breakthrough too. Although I’m financially constrained, I am pursuing higher education in an American institution. Although I missed my Dean’s List last semester by .09 in my GPA, still UHWO is being generous to offer me scholarship. How could I doubt God’s grace and providence?


I really felt so little of myself after watching Kodi. Because, with all His generosity and might, I doubted God will see me through.

YouTube/America’s Got Talent/Kodi Lee/Bridge Over Troubled Water