Finding My Way Back

On December 2017, my life has changed. From being sick of an illness (depression) that I used to discount, to fearing loud sounds or noises, and being uncomfortable in the crowd—I’m just not the same anymore. And as I stumble and keep losing opportunities while my dreams are slipping away, in many instances, I don’t even know where I am heading. Often, I feel being robbed of my happiness and hope. Worse, I lost track of my guiding principles. So here I am, trying to “find my way back into life.”

On life
(In general):

I believe, life is a battle in which we, the soldiers ought to carry and gear ourselves with deep “patriotism,” unabated courage, strong ideals, sound attitude and behavior, by being wise, and maximizing our knowledge and skills.

On relationships:

It’s always a two-way traffic. Mishaps happen in one-way “roads—” as it is detrimental to any relationship to be blinded of anything incoming and outgoing from both sides of the “roads.”

Also, like a boat, if the relationship is a one-man sail—–when in reality, there are two people aboard——then from gravity, to forces of wave and wind—which can relentlessly put relationships in jeopardy, there’d guaranteed falterings along the way.

Most importantly, love is more than a virtue. It’s an act and an undertaking that thrives through trust and respect.

On dreams:

To dream is to hope;
To hope is to aspire;
To aspire is to pursue.

To aspire for oneself is a responsibility; But to dream for larger whole is a calling that requires faith, devotion, and righteousness.

Lastly, passion is a winning action.

Finally, these are just few of my principles and convictions. But going through the traumas of bullying and depression, I am struggling to stand for my dreams and to get my strength back and continue my crusade for a better world.

Nonetheless, It’s tough and hurting to be in a very challenging situation—and the odds are not in my favor. However, I pray for strength and humility—as I humble to things greater than me and/or what my heart can hold.

Below are some of my aspirations, I still keep my fingers crossed:

1. To finish my undergraduate. And right after graduation, I wish to come home in Philippines, to teach single mothers (young and old) of basic computer and typing skills. Speaking of experience, in a third-world country, women out of our wills to survive, we exposed ourselves to vulnerabilities such as illicit affairs.

For when our stomachs are in anguished, our sense of morality is less prioritized. I wish to correct that. And so I will strive harder than hardest to get better and be fully self-supporting. I wish to encourage others the same; and to strive in improving their personal economic conditions.

2. To get to law school and be a tax attorney. Being a VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) volunteer since 2009, I saw the need in that area of law. For example, elders get taxed for required contributions, when most of them roll over the funds to their retirement accounts. Therefore, those contributions shouldn’t be taxed.

Bottom line, I wish to prepare taxes for the elderly and the needy in 50 states using RV as office on mobile.

3. To travel to climate change-stricken countries for outreach such as Vanuatu.

4. To bring Spam Musubi (spam sushi, an all time Hawaiian locals favorite) to children of Africa.

Above all, I want to be with my children. I couldn’t come home yet due to lack of logistics. And although, I am constrained of very limited resources, I remain hopeful to see them before June. I need to be with them and my mom; and I badly miss my sisters too.

To end, this blog is created not to flaunt any talent (I have none to be proud of). I never see myself greater than anyone. It’s just that I have kept this for years, for this help me cherish my passion (to scribble) likewise to continue learning from my blogger friends the virtue of goodwill; and how to vest our time and energies in healthy ventures (such as blogging).

As always, thank you! Namaste to y’all.

Featured Song:

Way Back Into Love
By Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant

Disclaimer: The copyright of media below does not belong to the owner of this blog. It is subject to fair use. Usage is non commercial, not for profit-mere personal. (Courtesy of YouTube)


9 thoughts on “Finding My Way Back

  1. Thank you Aina, it takes courage to disclose our truths. I feel that despite the above, it’s wonderful that you have formed a positive plan for your future. May the doors to that future be opened for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing more of your story, challenges, dreams, and values Aina. I’m sorry this is a challenging time. You seem like a very talented and determined person. It has often struck me that you’re doing a lot. Can you take a break or slow down? Maybe tackle one issue at a time?
    I trust you to find your way forward. Hugs, Brad

    Liked by 1 person

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