Baby, I miss you.

Through love and joy,

You’ve carved

your place in my heart so deeply

that I can never ever replace you here.

After days of searching, scouring the entire neighborhood, trying to find you;

I realized

that with how much you love me—

you would never ran away

and leave me.

But finding your lifeless body in our yard—

in a fetal position

covered with rocks and dry leaves—

I wanted to scream.

But I couldn’t.

Deep inside, I’m wailing

while whimpering your name.

Reckoning with guilt,

perhaps I didn’t take care of you enough—

Perhaps I didn’t do enough to protect you—

sorry baby,

sorry baby—

Mommy is so sorry.

Your fondest memories;

of you waiting for me to come home from work,

of you going to our room before I even get there,

of you being always excited whenever I bring you treats—feeding you pulled cattle fishes, lickable treats, and beef jerkies,

of how much you wanted me to carry you in my lap or sit at my belly,

of you being always careful with your paws so as not to scratch me.

and more—

I will always cherish them all.

Because Kitty,

I didn’t rescue you—

It was you who saved me.

Hi friends,

I apologize for being away for days. My cat, Kitty passed away last Friday, July 12, 2024—and I am hurt more than words can describe this pain.

I found Kitty when he was a new born, abandoned by his feral mom. I took place as his mother since May of last year.

He was smart, clingy, such a sweet guy really. But more than that, he was a hero to me. Because he saved me from depression, bringing me joy and love everyday.

Losing him is like I lost a child. I grieved for days. I can’t even afford to eat till now. So I hope through this, you’ll understand my sudden absence.

I pray to God for healing. Thanks in advance for your understanding.

Aloha,

Aina