Friendship: From Soul to Soul

(This is quite an extensive narrative. Please be mindful of your time. I appreciate your patience. Thank you!)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re safe, healthy, and happy. As for me, though there are challenges here and there, but through the grace of Heaven and Earth, I’m okay. And to God be all the glory!

Friends, allow me to skip poetry and share my sentiments about an English school’s contemplation on forbidding grade schoolers to have best friends. Apparently, the school officials’ theory is to avoid students from getting too close to one while alienating the others.

As a mother of three, it’s the worst thing to hear from a school administration or an institution. If it’s for publicity, kudos! They got the world’s attention. However, I pray those who are involved would realize its true impact to our children.

Because, with due modesty, who are we to engineer our kids’ feelings? We can teach them the acceptable and not in society; We can introduce them to new skills and knowledge; We can help hone their talents and flourish from their passions. We can encourage them to take responsibilities in the family and get in involved in the community. And we can also warn them the pitfalls and hazards of intimacy. However, to restrict them to befriend and or be a best friend to anyone, we’re depriving our children of something very human.

Attestation

I have few close friends. But with the best ones, even with those from toddler days, although we’re approaching our mid-lives and busy raising our families–we remain friends to date. That I may be continent apart from them; but in our humble, mutual gestures, we stay in touch. We remain good friends. Perhaps I am not a great person, nor they’re extraordinary human beings; but we are best-friends. We laugh and cry many times. We hang on to our friendship amid distance, time, even personal differences and challenges–because “that’s what friends are for.”

Here, in blogosphere, I have few friends (zero readers); but they’re all good. Actually, i think they’re the best ones in the planet! They are kind and generous to be with me in every painstaking post trying to eloquent my thoughts and musings, confronting my struggles and longing. They are with me for years and in many times when I feel unworthy (talent wise and reciprocity speaking). I wish, I have better ways to express this deepest gratitude (but thank you Kind Souls).

Regardless, I hope schools would be careful in considering such absurd policy. I strongly suggest John Holt’s (book) How Children Fail on this topic. It’s a bestseller on how institutions’ unnecessary “dos and don’ts” are jeopardizing the growth, development and learning of our children. It’s an Aussie’s cry for true children empowerment.

Finally, my theory on parenting is simple: Our kids are not pets to cage them in boxes. Our utmost role in their lives, is to ensure they have what it takes to be better human beings. Topping the list, for me, is friendship. It is one of the epitomes of humanity. In fact, scientifically, our ancestors have achieved the highest being among human genomes (as evidenced by their largest brains among all) through befriending and caring for one another. Therefore, why deprive our kids of something so human, too noble, very humbling and legendary as friendship? Why not address bullying instead? It’s a true-blooded alienation, a social menace that is long ongoing, too wicked and so rampant in schools.

References

Children Shouldn’t Have Best Friends, Telegraph, 2017.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10031299/Children-shouldnt-have-best-friends-private-school-head-argues.html