This Bullied

Nothing is more evil than to kill. And to bully, is to kill a human spirit–as we’re all here striving in sweat, in tears, and even in blood just to live. But what happens, when we are bullied? We are demoralized, demeaned, just as our belief in goodness are likewise being butchered. Sadly, the targets (I defy the term victims), inevitably add to the unimaginable numbers of depressed people who are deprived of heaven on earth. Thus, allow me to pull myself out of those numbers.

Yes, I cringed in tears being bullied online and in person. It was painful beyond words. And I wondered, what can I do to appease their hatred? It’s not to kiss asses, but to pave way for goodwill. For in reality, I was more sad knowing justice await their wrongdoings. Sincerely, I feel the heaviness they carry, more than the pains and humiliations they caused me. Because, there is such a powerful thing called karma. Good or bad, we reap what we sow.

Here, in the blogosphere, I had a stalker and countless of critics, who sees my being hopeful and generous as superficial that I am off to take advantage and/or to gain control (that’s basically the problem I deal in person). Apparently, I’m too nice to be trusted. That most likely, I have ulterior motives or hidden agendas. Wrong! This is me. I don’t regret being generous, because I’m happy that I’m able to give.

Truth is, I have followed nice fellows here for years. I am sure they can speak of my sincerity. Bottom line, kindness does not have to be returned; because it’s to spread among us. It’s just that the bullies are trapped in prejudice, which pollute their minds. They’re insecure. And deep inside, they’re haunted by angst. It’s not a pretty sight.

In regards to likes, I am relentless in my appreciation, coz those are for your efforts in maintaining your blogs; and I admire how you reach out in supporting our fellows–for in both of these–I admittedly fall short.

In private life, in my last employment from a prestigious institution, I was tortured and bullied everyday. They called me names, they tried to frame me up, they threatened to imprison or send me home. They misused and abused resources of agencies just to torture me–to avoid justice. They failed. But man, I was even paid two months late–that alone was a violation.

Until now, they follow me in the gym and stalk me at home (my only world, gosh!). They tap all my communication lines fearing I used to be an investigative journalist and I would use my network to seek justice; fearing with my entire family in the Philippines being in the media–they will rally for me. And they’d be in trouble. They’re desperate in making me disappear, get sick, or down in desperation. Their harassment continues to this day.

However, in all of these, my friends, I never think of revenge. It is so sad knowing, They’re in that much hatred to consume their energies and resources. And so I pray for healing on both sides. I pray for their enlightenment. I pray for justice for what they have against me. I pray for my strength to face them in any venue. I also pray for forgiveness. I pray for closure. Lastly, I pray that we can all move on with our lives and learn our lessons from here.

Dearest friends, please know that I am but a mother, who is trying to meet ends for my children. I can’t take care of them right now due to this medical condition. I am still hopeful to finish school, because I want to raise my kids on my own. I want them to succeed by providing them all the tools–because it’s my sacred responsibility. But how can I do that–now that I seem to be a failure? Argh, I really pray for healing. I will stand and do all that I can to overcome these adversities.

On a sad note, bullies are unhappy people. They draw their strength from their equally ill companies. They’re angry and hateful, because they’re empty and shallow. And I wish there’s rehabilitation for this behavioral menace, because it’s happening to our children at school and social networking Sites. We should correct it, if we want our kids to grow happy and normal.

In U.S. mainland, many of the high school shooters who went on rampage, they were bullied for odd looks, eccentric behaviors. They endured the humiliations for long; and one day, they snapped. They took justice in their hands and made senseless deaths become so rampant in this country.

Regardless, I will never snap. I will never stoop down to such level. Because, I believe in justice and in the legal system. Most importantly, although I suffered a lot, I want my healing more than anything else in this world. Besides, as a mom, blogger and writer, I have so much work to do. I trust that there is still future ahead of me. So gone are the days, I cry over spilled milk. I will work hard for healing; and I will get healed.

Thank you for all your support! To God be always all the glory! A blessed weekend to you all!

Next Post: Bullying, An In Depth Look

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